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Video about a guy who took a year offline 

Also, reference this

What he talks about in the video about the total boredom after quitting the internet sounds a lot like psychological withdrawal symptoms among other addictions.

So, worth considering: Is America now, or soon becoming, entertainment-addicted? (Is everyone? No. Are most people? Probably yes. Also worth realizing: Not thinking you're addicted to something may just mean you're OK with being addicted to it)

Are we so trained to constantly be entertained, distracted, and connected to things going on, that many of us (case in point the younger generation with smartphones) are in fact addicted to the internet/constant entertainment/stimulation?

When I had cable I would sit sometimes for hours at a time channel surfing. Especially after 2am there was almost never anything good on, and yet I kept searching. Surely in 80 channels (only 80, I know) there's SOMETHING! (I *did* get a nice set of knives from an infomercial once)

So now I don't have cable, and I've realized I channel surf Facebook. I keep hitting the home button, scroll down the page to see new comments, check people's profile pages for pictures, all in pursuit of the new, the entertaining, the thought-provoking.

And books, games, other things...all these are boring.

I submit that the modern internet and especially social media is an addictive phenomenon just as is gambling, just as is alcohol and shopping and cable TV and so many other things. I think TV and social media/internet are two of the MOST addictive phenomenons available today. Our brains want more entertainment, more good things, more stimulation. With all this stimulation, we cease to see less active pursuits such as reading, which takes longer to present new things to our brain, as being exciting.

I know this: Beyond the borders of utter boredom lies a powerful need for productiveness. So, I'm going to explore a complete absence of electronics. I'll post my last pictures of Minecraft to Facebook later today, and then I'm off. My phone number is on my facebook page. My email address is  Kevinmbratcher@hotmail.com.
I'm not deleting Facebook, I'm just ignoring it.

Quietly.

No facebook announcement, just a couple of videos posted and anyone who may have heard of this blog at some  point may read this and know. I have found that publicly announcing a plan is one of the surest ways to avoid following through with it, because the peer reward is gained before the required ensuing work.

The first couple weeks are going to be mind-numbing. But on the other side I know the minutes and hours will become full of good things, because I can't stand to sit still.

It's time to totally reduce the comfortability-inducing aspects of my life, to see where being uncomfortable can carry me.

And maybe, occasionally, I'll type something and post it up here. :)

Forgive us our debts... as we ought to have forgiven our debtors?

"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors"

When you really think about it, this is a scary line to pray (well OK, most of the prayer is, when you really dig into it) If God actually forgave us as much as we forgave our debtors - those who sin against us - then we're all in a lot of trouble.

I've been thinking on forgiveness a lot recently. I think we tend to refuse to forgive others to the extent that we are oblivious (and usually intentionally so) of our sinfulness. And vice versa. Find a former drug/alcohol/anything addict - someone who conquered (via God's grace) that addiction. You'll be hard-pressed to find people more forgiving and easygoing and open than them. They know very well how much sin they've boiled in for years. Their eyes are often quite open to the wrath averted. Unrepentant sinners and those born without, or with "less" sin, have a much harder time with grace and forgiveness.

Suppose Bob stole thousands of dollars and ruined someone's life (or owed the equivalent of billions, to borrow a parable). Suppose when he was caught and came before his accuser, he was told that he had been forgiven it. One would think Bob would be extremely relieved. He would realize the sheer weight of punishment that he was just spared. And if he really, truly realized his sinfulness in stealing, and really was sorry, and really realized the judgment he avoided in being forgiven...he would be more forgiving and more gracious and more willing to show love when people sin against him.

Suppose however that Bob goes to a friend who called him a name, or punched him in anger. Let's up the stakes: Suppose Bob refuses to forgive or talk to or have anything directly or indirectly or by hearsay to do with someone who had not even sinned against him, but had sinned against someone he knew. Let’s make it even crazier: suppose that someone wronged his friend years ago, and has repented, been forgiven by God, and lived an upright life since and is striving to be a good Christian as are we all. Can Bob pray that night, "Forgive me my debts, as I have forgiven my debtors?"

Is he willing to risk that?

It is my honest and personal opinion that we are only unwilling to forgive others their sins when we're blithely ignorant of our own. Mind you, blithe ignorance of sins is one of Satan's favorite ways to mislead us, and we all prefer to ignore our evilness, so it's not like I'm laying insults or making a larger deal out of this than I ought to. What I say is what I have observed in myself, from both sides: either being very ready to forgive, or being very reticent. As my knowledge of my guilt and sinfulness and the relief of forgiveness is; so is my forgiveness of others.

The point, plainly spoken, is this. We are all utterly, totally sinful. There is not a day in which we don't heap new mountains upon the pile. And yet, we are forgiven. It has been wiped clean in Christ - we have been made new. We have been washed clean so that we are whiter than snow. The old man is gone, and by the grace of God we are putting the new man on.

Who are we to NOT forgive another man's sin?

Virtually friends

I came across this video a couple of months ago, and have watched it many times since. A lot of what this video said connected with me, and apart from the whole humans-monkeys comparison thing which tells us more than enough about underlying assumptions, I agree with the assessment.

An interaction with some of the video, then:

Quote: “Texting, emails, posting…all of these things allow us to present the self as we want it to be. We get to edit, and that means we get to delete. Instead of building true friendships, we’re obsessed with endless personal promotion, investing hours on end building our personal profile, pursuing the optimal order of words in our next message…all of which is meant to serve as a desirable image of who we are.”

And therefore to the degree that each of us is aware of this self-promotional imaging we will be unwilling to trust the presented image of others we engage with in the same space (no trust among thieves, so to speak). We do not open ourselves up to others vulnerably and do not expect that they do either, and so we do not ever actually connect with them in the meaningful, dangerous way that is real conversation. This is why for instance asking someone out in a setting that is not face-to-face is less meaningful. A personal message conveyed in the personal setting bears greater personal risk – and therefore carries with it greater value.

To take this from a different approach: Perfect people creep me out. If someone is always extremely bubbly and joyful and their words drip rainbows and diamonds…I assume they’re lying. While this is probably not a healthy point of view, I’d imagine it is a common one. Even with this there are exceptions of course – I am automatically drawn to someone who is joyful, artistically expressive of inner happiness, earnestly happy - but even then I’d expect them to have tears for sad things and anger for evil. No one should be always happy, because this world is not yet a perfectly happy place, and so the social presentation of such tells me that person is not opening his or herself to others, and therefore cannot be trusted to be open to at least on some of the deeper levels.

We are meant to make mistakes, and others are meant to observe them – and hold us accountable for fixing the sinful ones. The good ones recognize their own mistakes as well and are willing to forgive ours. True meaningful bonds are formed in this way. Our personal character traits may come off as odd to others, and while they shouldn’t be angering to others, they may be foreign enough that we won’t be close friends. But in the virtual space, two completely different people who might not stand each other in real life apart from basic acknowledgement can pretend to be perfect for each other, or the best of friends. All this in the pursuit of relationships, and the fear of being lonely.

I think this is also a great risk for long distance relationships and friendships. While both can last for months and even years, I do not think they will if the understanding is that they will remain digitalized and distant. Our deeper vulnerability and connection requires in-person conversation and experiences. Even between those who have shared real conversation and experiences and vulnerability there will still be a manufacturing and a marketing element to the digital conversation. This may be part of why handwritten letters are more valued than emails – apart from the extra required effort, it’s harder to market yourself when editing either means a very obvious scribble, or scrapping your letter when 2/3 of the page is written already. In addition, this is why talking on the phone or, better, on Skype, is favored over texting and emails. In essence, any time you have the chance to type something, there’s a chance that it’s been combed over, inspected, and told to improve its posture. Case in point, if I had spoken this article from my mouth, it would have far more tangents, nervous laughter, and be less cohesive than I hope it is currently.

Another quote I liked from the video: “We slip into thinking that always being connected is going to make us feel…less alone.”

This draws me to recall my first year at Redeemer, when I met and probably at some point talked with dozens of people. At first I felt as though I was finally getting friends again, and rejoining the social world. However, as I reached the end of first year it occurred to me that I still had a very large hole in terms of friends. I had many acquaintances, but very few people I could call friends, and certainly no best friends (those I wouldn’t really be able to claim until 4^th year).

Part of the reason that I did not have deeper friendships was that I did not really know how (still working on that in some respects). Another reason was that part of me did not want to. Close friendships are dangerous, because people can reject, and cause pain. In a world that is increasingly oblivious to what real close friendships are (for many other reasons beyond just social media) it’s hard to find people who will open up to you and provide a situation in which you can open up to them. In the teenage years, it’s nigh on impossible.

Side note: I think this is a part of why so many teenagers pursue alcohol; apart from the highs it offers, and the rebellion factor, it also allows an easy entryway into social conversation. However, like with social media, a connection via alcohol or drugs is not the same as a genuine lowering of the personal drawbridge. Either the bottle stays open forever, or the connection ends (which may explain why some people spend decades with open bottles). Mind you, alcohol can be a decent temporary bridge but it makes a poor permanent one.

When I did make some solid friends toward the end of my college years, it was because we had had conversations with each other, taken the risk of mistakes, and survived those that came.

In the end, what it comes down to is a willingness to open up - to even perhaps abandon the largely false connections that are Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and various other platforms, and to seek out the game nights, local diners, and hospitable tables of others where we may share experiences, food, and conversation, accepting that stupid things will be said and that that – along with apologies and forgiveness – is a part of being human and fallen. I still believe that it is possible to be open in the virtual world (and I’m not just saying this because someone will claim to be the exception). No matter how genuine you may be, however, most will not believe that you are. You will not fully connect. That is only fully realizable in the dangerous and potential-filled real world.